After an onslaught of Taylor Swift for about 10 days in the midst of a total solar eclipse, a major natural disaster and a “major” awards show that should have been discontinued at least 6 years ago, ol’ Tay has gone silent again.
Minus all the videos she’s released through AT&T and her team featuring Old Taylor. Because, you know, “I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now… Oh, ’cause she’s dead!”
New Taylor, I’m here for this. I love that you have committed to this haircut you probably picked out of your mom’s high school yearbook and your new private life free of Instagram updates. However, I’m just not convinced Old Taylor is as dead as you think she is. Are you sure you killed her? Did she get out of that suitcase everyone saw you/her in this summer?
First, New Taylor filmed those AT&T spots where she was doing all that Old Taylor stuff like being a weirdo with her cats, eating cookie dough that fell onto her clothes and making terrible jokes. You know– the things that made everyone fall in love with her in the first place.
Now, she’s released a video that shows how she (New Taylor) fought off all the Old Taylor(s) in her video for “Look What You Made Me Do.”
This behind-the-scenes video definitely featured Old Taylor. Old Taylor was saying all the stuff Old Taylor says.
- “I have no experience with home invasion.”
- “I had some hat problems because I got too excited.”
- “I have to actively try not to be graceful, I don’t know if you’ve ever met me before.”
- “Kitten strangle fight.”
New Taylor, please just come back into the light. There’s still a place for you here. Not made you do anything. You are the queen of your own castle. We can even get that cross-stitched for you and you can hang it in your bathroom.
RIP New Taylor, August-August 2017.