“All my friends are raisin’ babies, I’m still raisin’ Cain,” Sunny Sweeney sings the opening to “Bottle By My Bed.” From the title alone, you may think it’s a different kind of story, about a different kind of bottle, but the Texas native is opening up about her struggle with infertility.
The tune, which she wrote with Lori McKenna, is a harsh look at the struggles she and husband Jeff Hellmer have had starting a family. The pair are now sharing the story of their recent miscarriage in not only the song but the music video too. Sunny made a point to ask her friends to be a part of the clip.
“I wanted to include my friends because that’s where the whole idea came from,” Sunny tells One Country. “It’s real and from my life, and I wanted the video to portray that.”
Sunny is sharing her story, because she knows that she’s not the only one suffering.
“I think everyone assumes that they will automatically achieve pregnancy as soon as they start trying,” she told People magazine. “But after a couple of years had passed and nothing was happening, we realized it was going to be more of a struggle than we had anticipated. So, after a huge hiccup in our plans, we decided to go explore infertility treatments.”
The 40-year-old says they did it all: shots, creams, hormones, medications and in vitro. Unfortunately, one of their embryos made it to the implantation stage and the couple decided they’d had enough.
“A couple of months later, I miraculously ended up pregnant, naturally,” she added. “We were stunned. We had gotten a few months into it, and we got to see the heartbeat. This completely restored my outlook on the parent/child connection immediately. Everything was sailing along smoothly. I embraced morning sickness. It amused me that things smelled gross. My body was changing, and I couldn’t ‘hide it’ much longer. I thought, ‘This is it — we are actually having a baby!'”
Unfortunately, her happiness wasn’t able to last.
“Then I went in for my regular checkup, and the heartbeat was gone. Gone,” she said. “No explanation. Nothing. I waited two weeks to make sure the heartbeat wasn’t just hiding behind something else. Then we had to schedule the dreaded [dilation and curettage procedure]. It took me a couple months to finally digest that I had miscarried. That’s when my friends started coming out of the woodwork. So many people had been through this. It was comforting to know we were not alone.”
Sunny refuses to give up hope. The pair are looking into their options are looking strongly at adoption.
“I think we both believe in the back of our minds that if I was able to get pregnant before, then surely it can happen again,” she adds. “I somehow can’t give up hope, despite having every reason to do so.”