Woman Arrested Claims Blake Shelton is Trying to Kill Her and She’s Dating Eric Church — What?

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Longtime fans of Blake Shelton will admit that the talented and hilarious country star doesn’t do much to surprise them, however, we’re all feeling a little flabbergasted by news that a Tennessee woman accused him of trying to kill her.

According to the Times News in East Tennessee, a Hawkins County woman, Mary Linnie Myers, called 9-1-1 on Sunday afternoon requesting a helicopter because she believed that both Blake and Dolly Parton were coming to visit her, but for entirely different reasons.

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A Hawkins County sheriff’s deputy investigating the call found an empty bottle of vodka on the table of the lady’s camper and also noted an aroma of alcohol coming from her. He also noticed some unsteadiness and slurred speech.

“I asked Mary for the reason she called 911, and she said that Blake Shelton was trying to kill her,” the deputy reported. “Mary told me there was a man in the woods with a knife. Mary said the she and Eric Church are dating, and Dolly Parton was flying in to see her tonight.”

Apparently, another sheriff had been dispatched earlier in the day for the same reasons.

Fortunately, both officers observed that there wasn’t anything or anyone who posed a threat to Mary’s safety. Mary was charged with misuse of 911.

However, there’s no word on whether Mary’s vodka was Smithworks.

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It does make one consider the hypothetical though. If scheduled for cocktails with your bestie, Dolly Parton, and boyfriend, Eric Church, do you chill the glasses and risk getting axed by Blake? Or do you cancel on the Queen of Country and The Chief, and catch the first chopper to Dallas?

It is a quandary.