People love good quotes. People love “Duck Dynasty.” If you put these two together, what do you get? You get people who are “happy, happy, happy.”
Here are ten great “Duck Dynasty” quotes, plus the valuable life lessons they teach us:
1. “When you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s best to do it quickly!” – Jase Robertson
The lesson: There’s no need to drag things out, especially when you’re clueless. If you don’t know the answer to a question, immediately say “I don’t know.” If you’re driving and you’re lost, drive fast. If you’re unsure if milk is expired, drink it as quickly as you can.
2. “You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.” – Jase Robertson
The lesson: Learn from your fallen, southern brethren. If someone challenges or “dares” you to do something seemingly foolish, they’re probably trying to get rid of you. Don’t let them!
3. “Where I come from, you don’t mess with another man’s woman or his hat.” – Jase Robertson
The lesson: It takes years for a man to break in a hat. Years of love, sweat and tears. To defile a man’s hat is to slap him in the face. You simply don’t do it.
4. “I was a player before they even invented the game, Jack!” – Si Robertson
The lesson: If you have a special lady friend, do not let her anywhere near Si Robertson.
Si Robertson always has, and always will be, a ladies man.
5. “I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pinecones and a woodpecker, I’ll make you a good chicken pot pie.” – Si Robertson
The lesson: Chicken Pot Pie has a lot in common with another southern delicacy, Brunswick stew. If it’s lying around, feel free to throw it in the pot.
Secondary lesson: Never eat Si Robertson’s chicken pot pie.
6. “First it’s pretty tires. Next it’s pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you’re shaving your beard and wearing capri pants.” – Si Robertson
The lesson: It’s a slippery slope when you’re a man. Today, you’re putting moisturizer on your face. Tomorrow, you’re going antiquing with your wife while holding her purse and giggling after you find a “super cute” knick-knack for your kitchen. Where does it end?
7. “I didn’t get the sophisticated gene in this family. I started the sophisticated gene in this family.” – Willie Robertson
The lesson: Be humble. Many of us find ourselves members of families lacking sophistication. We are the black sheep in our families. The “normal” ones.
And then your wife catches you scratching your back with one of her wooden spoons, and you realize you’re not as different as you think you are.
8. “Ducks are like women. They don’t like a lot of mud on their butts.” – Phil Robertson
The lesson: Don’t put mud on the butts of your wife or your pet duck.
9. “A real man don’t call the plumbers. If he gonna call himself a man, he needs to know how to fix it, on the spot.” – Phil Robertson
The lesson: There are some things southern men need to know how to do themselves. These things include, but are not limited to: fixing a leaky sink, mowing your own lawn, and adding the perfect mix of seasonings to chili.
10. “When you get older and you start dating, I want you to be able to say one thing, ‘I can bait a hook.'” – Phil Robertson
The lesson: If a southern girl is going to marry a southern guy, she will be well served if she’s proficient in the three southern basics.
These basics are baiting a hook, watching football without being bored, and knowing to stay away from Si “ladies man” Robertson.
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