At Last, Someone Has The Courage To Talk About The Ridiculousness of Baby Product Names

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There are millions of baby products: items for mom, the baby, and dad at any given time of day. Our grandparents were raised in cloth diapers and given jobs. Back then, diaper bags were just for diapers. Now we need trailers to carry everything out kids need to survive. We can’t fix that problem, but we can talk about how these products are named. It’s almost like they think babies are buying the boppies, snoogles, momuus, and bumbos.

Jimmy Kimmel is the father of little ones and has first hand access to all of these products. It truly seems like a child named all of these things, which may be the truth. For example, the “wubbanaub” is pacifier with a stuffed animal on the end. I guarantee “wubbanaub” is what the inventor’s kid called a pacifier and so he/she stuck with the name. So, either babies are naming these products or Scuttle from “The Little Mermaid” is.

As a result, we are all talking like babies while we are trying to raise babies, frantically looking for our babble-named pillows, animals, and infant seats. I hereby resolve to only use proper adult words in front of my child, not for them, but for my own sanity.