To say that Starbuck’s Unicorn Frappuccino Blended Creme is a sign of the apocalypse is a smidge dramatic. But, only a smidge. The once proud coffee roaster has ceased to care by creating a “drink” that changes flavors and looks like a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper. In so doing, Unicorn Frapp is first drink specifically made for Instagram instead of tastebuds. This is the result of all of our food posts. This is how culture dies.
Jimmy Kimmel can read the writing on the wall and made a spot-on drink of his own made from coffee, pancake batter, chocolate frosting fries, vodka, and Lexapro. It is the next logical step after the Unicorn Frapp.
“Treat yourself to an Snapchat photo-op and ride the fast lane to diabetes with the Unicorn Frappuccino. Made with fresh milk and inert chemical weapons.”
Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino Blended Creme ingredients
Now excuse me while I go ironically order one. Check out my social media for a full review.