Christmas songs have some old-timey language that can be easily misheard. Even now I realize that I have been hearing Christmas lyrics all wrong. But, for some reason, it’s always easier to go with the wrong lyric instead of the much more boring right lyric.
Good luck not hearing these wonky lyrics from now on. You cannot un-hear these.
“Bring us some freakin’ pudding!”
“We Wish You A Merry Christmas” is more demanding than I remembered. Also, no one really carols anymore either. Sad.
“Round John Virgin, mother and child…”
The main song from “John Wick 5: The Naughty List”
“Later on, we’ll perspire, as we drink by the fire…”
Someone’s got the beer sweats.
“Where the tree tops glisten and children listen to hear slave elves in the snow”
Slave elves!? Santa has some ‘splaining to do.
“Joy to the World, the Lord has gum…”
Ooooo, can I have a piece?
“Peace on Earth and mercy mild, goddamn sinners reconciled…”
PSA: Don’t try this during the Christmas Eve service.
“Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul. With a corn cob pipe and a butt and nose…”
Hah, he said butt.
“Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.”
Geez, Olive, why you gotta be so rude?
“Don we now our day of peril, Fa la la la la la la la la…”
We all have those days…
“Bell’s on Bob’s tail ring, making spare ribs bright. Oh what fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight!”