KFC Enlists Prettiest Man Alive, Rob Lowe, to Be New Colonel Sanders

KFC Enlists Prettiest Man Alive, Rob Lowe, to Be New Colonel Sanders

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The fast food company that once dared to put their food in a bowl is now boldly going where no chicken has gone before: space. Maybe. Kentucky Fried Chicken has employed Rob Lowe, yet another Colonel Sanders spokesman, to trumpet the KFC Zinger. The entire marketing scheme is based on sending this spicy chicken sandwich to outer space because, why not? I believe they are trying to say that the sandwich is “out of this world” but the message I received was “this is so awful that it has no place on earth.”


I have so many questions about this and KFC refuses to answer any of my emails. Why is Rob Lowe wearing a spacesuit? Is he going to space with the chicken?

IS KFC TRYING TO KILL AMERICAN TREASURE ROB LOWE?

We are only told that the sandwich is crispy, spicy, and is going to space. Is it good? Unknown. We assume it’s edible. Does it have a price? Unknown. Perhaps the unholy hand who created it never intended for it to be purchased. Has Rob Lowe ever eaten at KFC?

Yeah, sorry KFC. Stop creating new food and sending it to space and start making the food you have better. Make food Rob Lowe would eat.

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