This Woman Getting “Slugged” Is The Greatest Mystery Of The Week

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The greatest mysteries the world has ever seen appear obvious at first, but quite quickly become unsolvable riddles of twisting logic and double-speak. This video is one such mystery. On it’s face, it is a video of a woman in full makeup getting a slug stuck on her face. Beyond this, there are no answers.


The caption on the video is but three words: “Just got slugged.” It is brief, but leaves more questions than it answers. It would be wise to approach this like a detective, reminding ourselves of the eternal words of Sherlock Holmes, “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

Who: Women, a group of them. Perhaps this is a bachelorette party or a Instagram influencer hangout. There is also an enormous slug that is being passed around and duck faced? What bachelorette party invites a slug? To say that this is a suspicious group is an understatement.

What: The girl pretending to kiss the slug flicks it onto the forehead of another woman as their friends scatter like cockroaches when the lights come on. The “slugged” woman calmly assesses the situation, puts down her drink, takes a deep yoga breath, and proceeds to freak out. she knows what is happening and chooses to freak out instead of calmly removing the slug from her forehead. That kind of self-control and decision making is nefarious.

Where: A room, to be sure. Anything else would be speculation.

When: Night time. Pre-game post-party-prep. But if this is what these women do before a party, someone should call the police. If a DJ plays “Despacito” after these gals get a few SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS in their system, they could be unstoppable.

Why: Why, indeed. Do they not like each other? Is it a ritual? is the slugged woman in danger?

To all of these questions, we must confess we do not know.

Jordan Keller
Pop culture junkie and half-hearted foodie.

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