Friends, neighbors, countrymen, lend me your fantasy suites, because it’s the creepiest episode of the season on “The Bachelor!” Yes, that’s right! It’s the one where the Bachelor, this time– Arie Luyendyk Jr., invites every lady he’s still dating on an overnight excursion disguised as a way to learn more about each other, but you know, they do other stuff too.
ABC has graciously sent Arie and the ladies to Peru, which is a much cooler destination than Fort Lauderdale or Scottsdale.
First, Arie meets up with Kendall, the one who likes (stuffed) dead animals for some dune buggying and Arie is ready with a speech, “Dune buggying is like a relationship: There’s ups and downs and it’s scary, but also so exciting.” Well, sure. Most of the date is just Kendall kind of saying she’s not ready to get engaged, but then accepting the Fantasy Suite card from Chris Harrison and randomly saying, “I see so much in Arie that I absolutely love, and I want [in] a husband.”
After the evening together, Arie gets down to business and asks Kendall how she likes her eggs, which was really important for him to know he said.
Next up, we’ve got Talky McTalkerson, Lauren B. This far along in the game, even Arie has noticed that Lauren doesn’t get all that excited about things or say any words ever at all. Arie spent some time trying to break down Lauren’s wall with stuff like, “Just know that I’m crazy about you,” and “I see a potential in you being my wife,” but she wasn’t caving.
Arie tells the Producers that if he has to spend his whole evening reassuring Lauren that she’s the one they won’t have much time to “get to know each other.” But, at dinner, after telling her he loved her she finally said, “I was just so happy to hear that. I just want you know that I love you, too. So let’s go.”
But, we all know how it ended the last time a Bachelor kept telling girls he loved them, right?
After an evening together, Lauren’s fears have been relieve, “My concerns about everything I was worried about yesterday have subsided.” So, great. Boom. Done.
I wasn’t expecting Becca’s date to be last, so we know something is up. But, first Becca and Arie head out on a boat and Becca is “so ready to tell him that I love him.” Even though she knows he might not be able to say it back. But, because this guy isn’t quite right, he says it back.
Obviously, they get their evening in the Fantasy Suite before stuff gets weird, but it got even weirder than normal.
Becca just keeps saying, “Everything is so aligned. I see it so clearly. I see my life partner. Nothing can get in the way at all.” Cut to a beefy guy in a tan suit, who “doesn’t want to be on this show,” he wants his girl.
Ross, Becca’s ex, claimed he didn’t know much about the show, until someone told him it ended in a proposal and he knew he had to get to her.
As Becca casually walks around a hotel, Ross walks with a purpose to Arie’s room.
What happens in this hotel room between Ross and Arie is kind of absurd.
Ross said he just found out that Becca was on the show and he told Arie, “That’s my proposal to give her. She’s the love of my life. I want to marry her.”
The music got super serious and Arie asked how long they dated, because “we’ve said ‘I love you.'” When Ross said, “7 years,” Arie just sipped his coffee.
Arie doesn’t think Ross is classy and that he might be crazy, “It blows my mind. The guy has huge f—ing balls. Or he’s f—ing crazy.”
Arie is going to be “crushed” if Becca leaves, but we learn pretty quickly that Ross might actually be crazy.
Becca is not excited to see him. Before he said anything she just said, “No. Ross, no. No. I’m not going to invite you in.”
Ross told her, “No matter where I go or what I do, my head and my heart, they just always come back to you. I want to marry you, Becca.”
The best part was when Ross kept calling Arie, “the guy” instead of his name. Classic.
After Becca told him their relationship was unhealthy he finally left. Becca then went to Arie to apologize to him and he knew what he had to do– he had to let Kendall go.
Becca and Lauren B. are going to meet Arie Sr. and the rest of the famdamily!
11 Hilarious/Sad Tweets About Fantasy Suite Dates on “The Bachelor” with Arie Luyendyk Jr.:
I would be like, “is there Netflix? I like to fall asleep to ‘The Office.'”
You know this is what happened.
Right? She must be one of those girls that actually texts a lot.
Oh… the math behind this one.
LOL. He did!
Seems like an easy way to book guests.
He is hot, but a little off, no?
Only Arie would think that.
Extreme, but I get it.
Yeah, Arie, what’s going on here?