There have been approximately 4,987,004 episodes of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” but per the usual, something super weird happened that has never happened before during this particular episode. You know, it was “historical.”
15 Pretty Weird Things That Happened During Episode 2 of “The Bachelorette”:
1. A-List Celebrities
Not only did Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis put on a challenge during this episode, but they talked and talked about the show. There’s a real good chance these two are members of a “Bachelor” fantasy league or something.
2. “I poop everyday.”
During that whole Husband Material challenge, that Iggy guy was convinced he could change a diaper because, “I poop everyday.” That’s just a lot to process in a short amount of time.
His winning interview was a one-man show– big-time. It’s almost like he rehearsed these over-the-top, screaming like a sociopath interviews at home before coming on the show.
4. Ashton Asking About “Whaboom”
Lucas thought he was going to get this A-list, tech investor to scream his terrible tagline, but even Ashton Kutcher has his limits. Also, Ashton knows if he does that, it’ll be seen as an endorsement and he does not want his legacy to go down like that.
He was so confused as to what Lucas was doing/asking he just blew a whistle and said, “we have a foul on the play.” Then, Mila tried to explain it to him. Which to be honest, we all needed a little more explaining on this whole thing.
Mila: “That’s the sound that he makes.”
Ashton: “For what?”
Mila: “Like excitement.”
Mila: “Just ’cause he can.”
5. Blake E. Wants to Address Elephants
Blake E. knows Lucas is doing “his act,” so he wants to make sure everyone else knows too. The other guys don’t seem to care all that much because they know Rachel is a smart lady. I’m just so confused about how this guy lives with this other guy’s ex-girlfriend, but they aren’t dating and they don’t run in the same crowd of aspiring people?
Lucas tells the group it’s “not an act, it’s not a show.”
Blake E. told Rachel that Lucas brought his own makeup for the show.
Blake E. told Lucas it felt “so good” to get this off his chest, but Lucas needs everyone to know about this “unspoken connection” he has with Rachel.
From there, the confrontation was just meh. Nothing exciting is happening between these boring bros, so they have to drum up some **~~dRaMA~~**.
6. Summer Camp
Rachel must’ve said “summer camp” about 200 times when talking to Kenny.
7. Kenny Knows White Dudes
Kenny is a professional wrestler, so he knows about “white dudes acting crazy.” Whaboom! And these white dudes are trippin’!
8. The Dog’s Undisclosed Injury
Copper, Rachel’s dog, was shown on the last episode, but never really addressed. Today’s date is all about Copper and his “really, really bad accident.” But, Rachel won’t tell us what happened to this poor dog. He has on a really fancy cast and a cover-up for the cast. Did Rachel run over this dog in the driveway and is embarrassed to tell people?
9. #BarkFest is a Dream
Feels like #BarkFest should be about six-12 times bigger than this one backyard. I bet people would pay thousands of dollars to go to a dog festival like this. But, it feels like the producers set this up just for the show. If not already a real copyrighted thing, I’m buying it right now.
10. Gap Teeth
Peter and Rachel’s gap teeth mean a lot to them. They have a deep personal connection because of their teeth. And you know what? You don’t see people with really, really straight and white teeth binding this deeply over their teeth.
11. Fireworks and Dogs
Turns out, this whole day revolving around this dog is a bit of a farce. Even the chillest dogs hate fireworks. Justice for Copper! I hope he didn’t hurt his leg in a tragic fireworks accident.
12. Hoop Dreams
There’s a lot of talk about DeMario’s days of yore on the basketball court. This is what the producers like to call “foreshadowing.”
13. Another A-Lister
Okay, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar isn’t like Sandra Bullock or anything, but still– very, very big deal. Also, Kareem told the guys if they couldn’t “hoop” they weren’t at a disadvantage. He’s a liar.
14. “Basketball is a good game to connect to romance.”
15. All Eyes on DeMario
So, the producers managed to not only get half of a high school and its marching band to come down to the gym on a random Sunday afternoon, but they also managed to get DeMario’s crazy ex-girlfriend to make her way to the gym.
After DeMario dunked on Rachel and everyone else, Rachel was really impressed. Naturally, as Rachel was making her way around the gym meeting fans after the “big game,” Lexi is the only one left in the gym. DeMario sees her as he is in the middle of explaining his basketball skills to Rachel. He clearly knows who she is, but says, “Ohhhhhh, who is this?”
Lexi is a bit much. Lexi is probably getting paid to act like a little bit much on national TV. Only girls can call another girl crazy and this girl is a little crazy.
“On my father’s grave… on both of my kittens sleeping at my apartment right now, I swear…” Let me stop you right there, Lexi. I believe everything you’re saying. Kittens aren’t a joking matter.
Rachel says DeMario isn’t making sense right now. But, Lexi’s story isn’t super solid either.
Anyway, boy, bye!
Of course, DeMario comes back and we’re left hanging on what Rachel will do with him, but the security guy got some solid screen time, so that’s good for his career.