Heinz is a family company built on traditional condiments. Ketchup. Mustard. Mayonaisse. It’s a simple business that they have decided to make more complicated earlier this week. The company is releasing “Mayochup”, a combination of mayo and ketchup that results in a creamy beige tomato sauce. The Internet has gotten up in arms (shocker), but for an odd reason: they don’t like the name.
They chose to release the clumsily named sauce after an online poll received more than 713,000 “Pass the Heinz Mayochup” votes. Once again, my faith in the public has been damaged.
Want #mayochup in stores? 500,000 votes for “yes” and we’ll release it to you saucy Americans.
— Heinz Ketchup (@HeinzKetchup_US) April 11, 2018
Now, you may think the problem is the flavor of the sauce– a lot of people are really sickened by mayo. But that is not the fault in this sauce’s stars. Oh no! It’s the name. Because what is the internet good for if not manufactured rage over things that don’t matter.
Carribean cuisine is practically bathed in the mixture but have been calling it Mayoketchup, an even clumsier portmanteau, for as long as they can remember. Utahns (is that what they’re called? seems wrong) call it “fry sauce” which, whatever, keep at it you guys. Heinz already sells the product in the Middle East, so I guess they can call it what they want, regional and international colloquialisms be damned.
It’s FRY SAUCE you godless heathens have you no SANCTITY https://t.co/8NnEp01IAm
— Blake Lyman (@BLymanWarrior) April 11, 2018
Apparently, the sauce was “invented” in Argentina in the 1920’s where it was lovingly referred to as “salsa golf.” I dare you to come up with a better name than “salsa golf.” It’s impossible. This sauce will always be salsa golf to me. Don’t @ me Utah.