Being a husband can be challenging. The role is full-time, the learning is never ending, but benefits are priceless. As a man, if you approach these roles with dedication and intention, you will enjoy a life filled with purpose as you have never experienced before.
This is the first of a five part series on how to be a better man. For starters, here are some great strategies for becoming a great husband.
Never underestimate the tremendous power of communication. Unfortunately, most men avoid it like the plague. Make it a priority to have uninterrupted conversations with your wife. Turn off the smartphone, stop watching the game, and talk to your wife!
2. Learn to Listen
If you wish to change the way your wife perceives and respects you — listen to her. Most women want someone to listen to them and empathize with what’s going on in their life. That means you do not interrupt her with your stories, your thoughts on what she just said, or by changing the subject. Woman cannot resist a man who understands their moods, attitude, feelings, values, likes and dislikes.
3. Stop Acting Like a Child
Don’t avoid responsibility — pursue it. Stop playing video games, looking at porn, and knowing more about fantasy football players than you know about your wife. You’re a man. Act like it.
4. Do Not Talk To Her As If She Is One of The Guys
When men talk with their male friends, they tend to be direct. They share their opinions freely and bluntly while insulting each other. Women are NOT like that. If a husband talks with his wife in the same manner he talks with his buddies, his directness, bluntness, or argumentative nature may cause her to feel disrespected or controlled. Don’t be that guy.
5. Show Respect
Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving manner and refrain from speaking harshly. A good husband never chooses to strike, humiliate, belittle, or otherwise harm his wife in private or in public.
6. Be Romantic
Every husband should think about becoming a Don Juan for his wife. Court her. Make her feel wonderful about herself and make your romance exciting — not just by technique — but by touching her heart.
One of the most affirming things a person can do for another is to laugh at the other’s attempts at humor. Laughter is tonic for a woman’s woes. Keep it on display.
8. Keep Reality in Mind
A wife needs closeness to feel sexual; a man needs sex to feel close. This is the fundamental impenetrable puzzle of love. I have no idea what to do about this. But great husbands have this reality in mind at all times.
9. Time Matters
Make time just for the two of you. It will not happen if you do not make it happen. Plan it and do it. Allowing work, hobbies, or other interests to keep you from spending time with your wife will deaden emotions.
10. Love Passionately and Selflessly
Your wife needs to know that you adore her. She needs to know that she is and always will be your dream girl! With your words and your actions, show her your love and commitment.
11. Protect Your Wife
Your wife should feel that the safest place on earth is by your side. She needs to feel safe emotionally, physically and financially. She needs to know that you’ll protect her and honor by the words you speak about her and the words you allow (or don’t allow) others to speak about her. She needs to know you’d die for her if it came to that.
12. Learn to Be Wrong
If you’re going to get on in married life — you’ve got to learn to lose an argument. And to do that, you’ve got to learn how to be wrong.
13. Keep Your Promises
We learn at a young age that a person is as good as his or her word. Do not be flippant about the promises you make to your wife. Your wife will either hold you in high regard, or lose trust in you because of the way you keep (or don’t keep) your promises.
14. Be Pleasant
Nobody likes man that is rude and bothersome. Be pleasant to everyone around you including your wife, friends and family. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly.
15. Develop An Appreciation for Shoes
No, not all women like shoes. The larger point is to pay attention to what your wife likes and show some interest. Even if the topic is mind-numbing to you — if she asks for your opinion, muster up an answer.
16. Learn the Power of Touch
Nonsexual touch is a potent, underused endorsement of another soul. As you’re heading out the door, give her upper arm a quick, affectionate double squeeze. As you’re walking to your table, put a hand, lightly but surely, on her lower back for guidance. When she’s at the sink doing the dishes, come up behind her and give her a kiss on the back of her neck. It should be more than a peck—make it last 1.4 seconds. Very powerful.
17. Be Her Support, Not Her Father
Unless she asks your opinion, or asks you to deal with a specific problem, do NOT offer to do so. You are not her father; you are her husband. Treat her as your equal.
18. Keep Learning and Growing
There is no such thing as the perfect husband — you will make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or leave the unwashed coffee cup sitting in the sink for way too long. Use every opportunity you can to continue to grow closer to your wife and learn more about her wants, needs, desires, and aspirations. Just like a fine wine or aged cheese, marriage gets better over the years.
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