7 Secrets of Southern Women

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If you think women are hard to figure out, then Southern women may be even harder.

We say a lot of things without ever saying a word and tend to beat around the bush in an attempt to be polite. We have team pride, state pride, hometown pride, family pride, and Southern pride, and we tend to be biased in all of these areas. We were brought up that way and bring our kids up that way.

And you know what? It doesn’t end there. The seven secrets of Southern women:

1. Forget Hollywood 

A Southern woman’s celebrity crush is either a SEC or Southern-born quarterback or country music singer. That’s why there’s no shortage of “Luke Bryan is my real dad” onesies for sale online.

2. Restaurant and Hospitality Management Minors

Few of us have actual degrees in restaurant and hospitality management, but when it comes to hospitality our good manners cripple us when guests stay too long. We are born with a “y’all stay as long as you like” mentality. If guests come for lunch and are wearing out their welcome, we might hint for them to leave by asking if they plan to stay for dinner too. It’s not really supposed to be an invitation, but if they don’t take the hint, well, then I guess we’ll be pulling those lunch leftovers back out again.

3. “That’s Not How Mama Does It”

No matter how good a Southern woman’s home cooking is it’s never as good as her Mama’s. And, it’s the same thing generation after generation with no Southern woman’s cooking being quite as good as her Mama’s.

4. We Never Tell a Lie, Unless We Are Being Helpful

We lie to our friends and call it “sugar coating.” We can’t help it. Now, your very best friends may tell you the truth when you need to hear it, but for the most part our manners teach us not to offend each other, even at the expense of lying or telling a half-truth. When a friend asks, “What do you think of this shirt?” You say, “I don’t think the stripes are as flattering as they could be, but if you like it, wear it!” while actually thinking, “That’s one ugly shirt – hopefully, someone else will tell her.”

5. These Letters Run Deep

Sororities are a big deal at universities in the South, and every sorority has a certain reputation, which may vary from one university to another. If you were in a sorority, you will be judged and in turn judge others based on the sorority’s reputation (for good or for bad). You might, for example, meet someone new and find out that they were a Pi Zeta Beta at ‘Bama and from that you’ll know they probably spent more than a few hours at that one frat house, are a bit undercutting, and even a little fake ditzy (they act dumb while stealing your boyfriend out from under your nose). You’ll make a mental note to keep your boyfriend or husband away from them. Because, you know, one time in Destin you met one Pi Zeta Beta and she was just like that. (Disclaimer: Pi Zeta Beta is a fictional sorority. Any resemblance to a real sorority is purely coincidental).

6. Thank God For (_____)

We all have a Southern state (different from our own) that we make fun of and act like we are better than. So, if you’re from Arkansas, you talk about how people in Mississippi don’t wear shoes or know how to spell, but people in Mississippi say the same thing about people in Arkansas. And Texas is so big that they do it to each other – hence all the Aggie jokes.

7. Secrets Are No Fun

We act like the South is the world’s best kept secret but then we blab about how great the South is, which proves: It’s not a secret or in actuality, Southern women aren’t good at keeping secrets.

Maybe it’s a little bit of both.

Ultimately, Southern women are passionate about the South and all things Southern, fiercely loyal to friends and family and yet entirely unable to be blunt to those same friends. We’re more than a little complicated, but that’s just part of our Southern charm.

Image Source: Wikimedia