It can sometimes be a tricky relationship to build, especially if there are personality clashes. Of course, you can’t control your in-laws or change their personalities, but there are some things you can do as a daughter-in-law to help prevent conflict and build a good relationship with them.
7 Ways to be a Good Daughter-In-Law:
1. Don’t compare your in-laws to your parents.
They are all different people, and it won’t serve you (or them) well if you constantly compare them to each other, expecting them to do the same things or react the same way to situations. Accept your in-laws for who they are and hopefully they will do likewise.
2. Talk about holidays well in advance.
Planning holidays with your family and your in-laws can be stressful, so try to settle plans as early as possible, so that your in-laws can make plans of their own.
3. Offer to help your in-laws when you can.
Be a good guest when you stay at your in-laws for the weekend or even when you come for a holiday meal. Bring a pie to Christmas, or offer to help clear the table after Thanksgiving lunch; or simply help as needs arise.
4. Give your in-laws (some) freedom to spoil your kids.
Grandparents spoil kids. It’s part of the package. Let them give your kids a toy every now and then or take them out for ice cream. As long as they don’t go overboard, your kids will be okay. If your in-laws are extreme spoilers (to the point where you don’t have room in your house for all the toys they give) then thank them for loving your kids and giving them toys and politely ask if they can keep some of the toys at their house.
5. Listen to your in-laws advice even if you don’t take it.
My mother-in-law loves to give advice to anyone and everyone. I used to take it personally when she dished out advice on child rearing and the like, but I’ve learned to listen to her and then filter it through my own experiences and thinking. Sometimes I take her advice and sometimes I don’t, but I can at least listen.
6. Don’t talk bad about your spouse to your in-laws.
Never talk badly about your spouse to your in-laws. They just aren’t the right audience and will most likely be biased towards their son. Plus, you really don’t want them in your marital business anyway.
7. Thank your in-laws for raising their son.
Of course, you should only say this if it’s the truth, not to win points, but if you have a loving spouse who treats you well and if his parents raised him to be a gentleman, then thank your mother-in-law and father-in-law for doing their best to raise a good man.