We all know that breaking up is hard to do, but maybe we make it harder than it really should be. There’s no “right way” to breakup with someone, but there are certainly a lot of wrong ways to do it. Don’t do it the wrong way.
8 Rules for Breaking Up:
1. Always breakup with someone in person.
Never breakup with someone over the phone or through e-mail or text. It’s immature and cowardly, and it’s only something you do when you’re in junior high. I would know. My seventh grade boyfriend broke up with me by putting a note in my locker. The problem was, I never saw the note, so I broke up with him because he was acting weird, only to find out he’d already broken up with me. The only exception to this rule is for long distance relationships where there is no other option.
2. Focus on why the relationship isn’t working
This isn’t the time to berate your ex with all the things you don’t like about him or her. Keep the focus on why the relationship isn’t working for you. Avoid blaming and bashing, and just keep it simple and straightforward.
3. No, you can’t “just be friends.”
Okay, that’s not entirely true. When you’re in junior high, you can go back to being just friends, but it just doesn’t work for couples that have been in long-term, serious relationships.
4. Keep it as civil as possible.
Keep calm and breakup. Don’t yell or make a scene or call names, especially in public where there is a good chance someone may be filming you with their phone. You don’t want to become the next YouTube sensation for all the wrong reasons.
5. Don’t date your ex’s best friend.
Under no circumstances is it okay, to breakup with someone and immediately date their best friend. There may come a time way down the road when it is okay, but certainly not at first. And, let’s be honest, no real best friend, is going to stab their best friend in the back by immediately dating their ex.
6. No one is buying the “It’s not you. It’s me.”
No one wants to hear, “It’s not you. It’s me.” Even if you feel like it’s true, don’t say it. It’s cliché, and it’s certainly not convincing when that same person is dating someone else within a matter of weeks or months. Then the ex is left asking, “Wait, did you suddenly get your life together enough to date someone else?” Because if you think you’re the problem, it seems like it should take a while to work through that. Ultimately, it’s best to just steer clear from the “It’s me” excuse.
7. Spell it out.
Are you breaking up or taking a break? Make sure you spell it out for the other person so you can avoid a Ross and Rachel situation.
8. If you break up, break up.
Don’t keep calling and texting your ex and leading them on, especially right after breaking up. There may come a time down the road where you can be friendly with your ex, but, especially right at first, it sends mixed signals to your ex and isn’t fair for them.
In short, be kind and straightforward. Don’t beat around the bush, but don’t be rude either. Stick to these eight rules and don’t make breaking up any harder than it should be.
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