Well, it finally happened: bro culture has gone full hipster. The beer chugging fratstars who brought you hazing, sweaty tailgating and super short man shorts are taking over another garment usually meant for women or babies: rompers. Yes, the baby garment that women dared to turn into a summer trend is now infantilizing hyper masculine bros at DJ pool parties across the nation. I feel like I should apologize to all of you for what you are about to visually endure, but once you start apologizing for these man-boys, there really is no way to stop.
This is visual proof of all those studies that accused Millennials of living in a state of “prolonged adolescence.” For only $90, you too can shout” I’m immature” without saying a word. 2017 is now the year of the man-baby.
Paging Dr. Freud!
Are you looking for a garment that reveals you emotional age, but can only find big boy clothes at the places your mommy shops? Try RompHim. It will bring out your inner toddler in no time.
“Turn heads and break hearts when you take your RompHim for a spin,” promises the RompHim Kickstarter . Sadly the only hearts you’ll be breaking are those your parents. They had high hopes for you. You could have been anything you wanted. Instead, you are dressing like a newborn at a “His First Easter” photo shoot.
Then RompHim’s copy just get’s sloppy. “Is it a romper specially designed for men? Sure, but it’s also so much more.” More!? Does it come with free psychiatric appointments? Does it delete your online dating profiles for you to save you the pain of guaranteed rejection? Nobody knows because they never get around to answering their own question.
Allow me to edit that sentence: “Is it a romper specially designed for men? Yes. End of description.”
The RompHim is the overpriced clothing version of a drunken twenty year-old yelling “Smell my finger!” at you during an Uncle Cracker Concert. Why are we here? What poor choices have we made to end up in this place? The answers beguile me. The only benefit to the RompHim is that every full grown boy will now be clearly marked in Splatter Print Cotton, so that the rest of us might avoid him and move on with our adult lives.