Everyone thinks they are prepared for marriage. And why not? You’ve discussed money, jobs, whether or not you want children, and where you’ll live.
You’ve even spent your time researching other people’s marriages by scrolling through your Facebook and Instagram feeds. What more could there possibly be?
We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but what you are seeing on social media is just the highlight reel! And while marriage can be and is wonderful, there are things about being married that no one tells you.
12 Things No One Tell You About Being Married:
1. For better is real, but for worse is real, too
Marriage is hard. Really, really hard. There will be days you cannot get enough of Mr. Wonderful. But there will also be days when you can’t stand the sight of him. Everyone forgets to tell you this is perfectly normal. Relationships have ups and downs and when you spend 24/7 with another human, there is bound to be some friction along the way.
2. You will feel baby pressure
Whether it comes from well-meaning grandparent hopefuls or yourself, the pressures to bear children is real. And the longer you wait, the greater it gets. Stick to your baby plan and be happy with it.
3. You will see the worst of each other
When you are dating, you put your best self forward and you are practically giddy every time you’re around each other. For whatever reason, we are sometimes shocked when we move in together and see the less-than-shiny side of each other.
4. You might not be able to share shared interests
Just because you both enjoy doing something, doesn’t mean you can do it together. In fact, it may be best that you don’t.
5. You will crave alone time
No one warns you that someone is always there. Always. And if you are someone who truly enjoys having time to be alone, relax and chill, it can be tough. You’ll need to learn how to balance spending time together and feeling comfy enough to do your own thing.
6. Other people aren’t deterred by your wedding band
This may be one of the most surprising things you will experience. Wedding bands are nothing more than costume jewelry to some, so be aware.
7. You can’t just leave
When you were dating, you could drop off the face of the earth after an argument. But when you are married, you have to deal with problems. You can’t make a habit of ignoring them or you’ll have additional (and bigger!) trouble brewing down the road.
8. Your decisions no longer affect just you
You now have someone on your team and you don’t have to conquer life alone. But, this means you can no longer run to your bestie’s house for a margarita sleepover or drop a few hundred dollars on a pair of boots without someone else being affected!
9. Every marriage is different
You will have your style as a couple. Don’t look at other couples and wonder why you aren’t like them. Own your style, even when it changes. (Because it will change!)
10. You really are marrying their family, too
This is great if your and your new mother-in-law are used to hanging out together. But for most couples, the family is one tough pill to swallow. You may find yourself wanting to choke the snarky mother-in-law who comments on your “creative” parenting skills. You have to remember that she raised the awesome person you are married to. And hopefully, you will only see her on major holidays.
11. You’ll need to learn to choose your battles
Seriously. It’s easy to get caught up arguing over every little thing that drives you crazy because you want to be right. My mother always told me, “You can be right all the time or you can be married. You can’t be both.” She was, well. right. Let go of the things that don’t really matter.
12. Nothing will go as planned
Nothing. Literally, nothing. Did we say that clearly enough? Jobs, health, babies, schools, mortgages…you name it, nothing will go as planned. No one is at fault, it’s just life. Go with the flow, and deal with what you can. Let the rest roll off your back.
We hope you found this helpful! Did we leave anything off?
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