It’s always a gamble when you have Ricky Gervais host your awards show. You never know what he’s going to say. But the Golden Globes knew what they were getting into when they signed Ricky up for his fifth and final year Sunday night (Jan. 5). And they got an earful.
As Ricky opened the show he let fans and A-list artists sitting right in front of him that this was his last year to host and that he simply did not care.
“You’ll be pleased to know this is the last time I’m hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore. I’m joking. I never did. I’m joking, I never did. NBC clearly don’t care either — fifth time. I mean, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars for some offensive tweets — hello? Lucky for me, the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they’ve no idea what Twitter is, so I got offered this gig by fax. Let’s go out with a bang, let’s have a laugh at your expense. Remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no sequel, so remember that.”
And then he let them have it. First taking aim at Felicity Huffman, who spent two weeks in jail for her part in the college admissions scandal earlier this year.
“But you all look lovely all dolled up. You came here in your limos. I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. No, shush. It’s her daughter I feel sorry for. OK? That must be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs.”
After taking shots at Martin Scorsese, James Corden and Leonardo DiCaprio, Ricky turned his attention to “woke” Hollywood.
“Apple roared into the TV game with ‘The Morning Show,’ a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing made by a company that runs sweatshops in China,” he said.” So you say you’re ‘woke’, but the companies you work for, Apple, Amazon, Disney… If ISIS had a streaming service you would be calling your agents.”
He continued, “So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent, and your God and f**k off, OK? It’s already three hours long. Right, let’s do the first award.”
And there you have it—from one celebrity to another. Check out Ricky’s full monologue below.