9 #WhyImSingle Tweets That Will Make You Squirm

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Jimmy Fallon has done it again. During the most recent episode of “The Tonight Show,” he asked viewers to tell him why they are single and boy did they. First, the tweets he didn’t read on the air were slightly depressing and a little too real. Like, yes, you could be single because they never leave the house or talk to humans in real life. Others just do weird stuff like only brush their teeth once a day or something.

These people have some work to do before Valentine’s Day.

9 #WhyImSingle Tweets That Will Make You Squirm:

1.

That’s a lot of “Harry Potter” talk, assuming you’re having a normal amount of conversations on a daily basis. And if we’re talking books and movies, plus the other books and movies that came from the series– yes that’s too much “Harry Potter.”

2.

That’s probably not why you’re single, but why lots of ladies left you at the movie theater after a date.

3.

Dear Nashefa,

This is what you would call standards. Don’t ever lower them.

Signed,
Grammar

4.

Has a woman seen you do this? Or do you think you’ve done it at the same drive-thru enough that the drive-thru workers just put out an APB about your weird ways?

5.

I can definitely see how that comment would make a man slightly uncomfortable, but maybe you just need to work on your delivery?

6.

Yes, that is weird and not okay. Dog biscuits are for dogs, and biscuits are just biscuits.

7.

Nicole and I have a lot in common. Maybe too much.

8.

At first, I thought this was going to say while you were acting piecing together a quilt. For some reason, punching yourself while getting a quilt out of the dryer is not as bad?

9.

Lindsey Vonn is one of America’s greatest treasures. Amen.

 

Lauren Cowling
Born and raised in the South, Lauren grew up going to football games with her family and eating overcooked steak. When not writing, Lauren enjoys reading biographies, searching for pictures of puppies on the internet and drinking Sprite.

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