Jimmy Kimmel Discovered The Place Where They Write All The Fortune Cookie Fortunes And It’s Not What You Would Expect

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You’ve probably heard the urban legend of the person who opened a fortune cookie to only find the message “help me.” The story goes that the person tracked down where the message was written and rescued a man imprisoned to write fortunes in some dingy corner of Chinatown. While that story sounds compelling, the truth is much less interesting than the fiction. Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo found that out while visiting a fortune cookie factory in New York.


It was not what I envisioned, but it makes sense.

A tiny desk in a tiny cubicle.

“…if you think about life and the plight of the American worker.”

Then the duo wrote some fortunes of their own:

  • Mexican food is better than Chinese food.
  • You are about to eat a cookie.
  • How many orange chickens will have to die before you people are happy?
  • Don’t get the vegetables, they’re not fresh.
  • Fortune cookies are like wives, you may get a good one or you may not.

All of those got rejected by the strict review committee. But the one that made it through is a fortune we could all hope to get.

Jordan Keller
Pop culture junkie and half-hearted foodie.

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